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instead, she spent the night alone

training the laundry

12/5/09 09:33 pm

today was first snow.
not sure about brooklyn or nofunswick but in south jersey it snowed and stuck to the ground.

12/2/09 10:46 pm

every day is the best three years of my life.

dig the icon?

11/19/09 11:21 pm

Marina: imagine if rats were asexual reproducers
Marina: like some whiptail lizards
Marina: oh my god
Marina: i'd be swimming in rats
Maria: ew
Maria: but also
Maria: aw

And that's my thought for the month.
I feel like I only update when I'm home. It's nice to be here.
One of my neighbors got two golden retriever puppies (cute, want, cute, want)

Friday-Driving mom to the doctor
Saturday-Driving parents to the airport at 5 AM (....), driving back to RU (with Rem & Rattikines), AZ Initiation Night, driving to Mike's after initiation
Sunday-Hanging out at Mike's house
Monday-class, then back to Mikes
Tuesday-No classes, holler
Wednesday-Back to Brooklyn for dentist appointment =[ and then back to South NJ until Sunday

The good times are killing me.

10/30/09 01:58 am

this hour is going to incredibly throw me off balance with regards to my schedule.
i'm shaky, tired, and exhausted.
sleeeeeeeeep

btdubbs we set the clocks back this weekend
my computer thought "this weekend" was this morning :-/

10/23/09 09:42 am

what to do, when such ghosts of the past come back around?
two years invested in what turned out to be a fake cause, full of fake people, and their fake ideals, and their inability to decipher right from wrong, from clinically insane.
why are you even trying?

10/21/09 06:57 pm

One thing about pretty much getting all my hearing back in my left ear that sucks is finding out how fucked up music is once you put it into headphone-mode. Nothing, nothing, nothing sounds the same and for some reason, every Beatles song only has lyrics in the right headphone. Why? Why do people butcher music in these ways?
Does anyone have opinions on this? Do you guys LIKE having your music butchered? I think with the exception of very few songs I've heard since I got my hearing back, the majority of songs have been butchered by splitting noise up between the right and left headphone. Really, why not just keep them together?

Additionally, I think I speak for everyone here when I say - the process of filling out scantrons in high school forever scarred me: if I see three or more of the same letters in multiple choice/true-false in a row, I panic and frantically have to erase all 3 (or more) answers and try to redo them.
In high school, we were told if we marked one letter 3 or more times in a row, all three questions would be marked wrong. Does anyone know if this has any actual basis in reality? Because we got THAT and then we also got the "blah blah blah if you don't know the answers to many questions in a row or don't have time to finish the exam, mark all the ones you don't know as C"

Help a 'brother' out

On a lighter note, no more exams (until a week and a half from now)
It just DOESN"T end at rutgers.

Also, I finally sent all my documentations in for moving off-campus this morning. Everything is in, now I just have to wait. I hate and love playing the pity card at the same time.

10/19/09 11:43 am

"Just pay the parking ticket. Don't be so outraged. You're not a freedom fighter in the civil rights movement. You double parked."
-twitter.com/shitmydadsays

I actually, do, have to pay a parking ticket =[

10/8/09 05:06 pm



Why is this CONSTANTLY exactly how I feel.
Except...instead of half-naked girls, dinosaurs, and jet-planes...baboons, soft puppies, and assholes replying to craigs list ads are the ones wearing birthday hats, eating delicious chocolate/strawberry cake.
Sigh.

10/6/09 10:50 pm

It's weird to say, I've started LEGIT looking for a place off campus for January 2010-January 2011.
I spent the day pretending to do work, but in reality first playing around with all the possible schedules I could have for the next two semesters (wtf? only 2 semesters until I graduate?) and trying to figure out the classes. I've come up with no solutions except that I am not going to be eligible for on-campus housing because I'm going to have to go part time student and get a job. The rats, too, will have to get jobs and find apartments to sublet.

No, but in all seriouness. Today alone, I've emailed over 20 people who posted ads on available housing (all pet friendly) telling them my situation. I may end up doing one of two things:

1. Sublet for January 2010-May 2010 and live at home during the summer, which will be a NEW home as my parents are scheduled to move out (be evicted) January 1st (Happy New Year....ugh). This, keeping in mind that I cannot find a place to stay the year and if Dr. Sheynberg lets me do what I want to do in his new practice, which is highly unlikely to happen. Or that BAFN will actually pay me to do stuff.
2. Legit rent January 2010-January 2011 with the thought in mind that I will find a plausible part-time job for Spring 2010 (not just poop job, REAL job) or that the big W figure out a way to keep me on a legit part-time schedule for Spring 2010 (actual working hours and jobs) and then can put me on full-time work for the summer.

I'm scared, terrified, excited, anxious, anticipating.
I even called up Doc Hamilton to inquire about the apartment above the meadows (how spooky) and he pretty much okay-ed my zoo but said that he would prefer that I wouldn't live there alone...apparently no one really stays long there if they attempt being there alone. Apparently there's also a lot of grounds work to be done around there but I wouldn't mind because it would be out-door-sey stuff and maybe people from AZ would want to help out, considering the meadows is like a second home (sort of).
Living at the meadows would be a lot of awesome outdoors time for Rem as well, as there is SO much room to run around...SO much room. And considering I'd only be going to school part time and have LOTS of time in the summer, if Doc would okay it, I might get Rem a little sister ;] and work on a full-time job and apartment in Brooklyn for the future or something.

Everything is so, so, so uncertain and it scares me and it feels like I'm dreaming, but maybe all it really feels like is that I'm growing up, which is a terrifying thought because I don't feel like I'm ready to yet. In some senses, more than others, maybe, but still, not just yet. I feel like I haven't had my time yet. Or something. I'm not really sure. The aspect of growing up or growing old hasn't been very nice to me as of late, and it scares me. And I'm scared. But also excited. In a sense.

This weekend-Maize Maze & Beatles cover show with Mike (ZOMG)
Next week-lots of movies/lectures to attend for classes
Next weekend-Dog Training Training at the SCFA Animal Shelter
Following week-Exams and more lectures to attend
Following weekend-Unnamed social & pledge project
Week after that-All's quiet on the Rutgers front
Weekend after that-Hopefully home

I'm doing shit. Marina does shit. Fuckkkk

10/4/09 11:50 am

Prihodet narkoman damoy...mama stoyeet v kyhne y gatovit.
Narkoman padhodit y sprashevayet... "...shto eto?"
Mama otvechayet: "..Eto kyretsa.."
Narkoman smotret..dymayet...y gavorit "Net...eto ne kyretso ...eto varetso"


-with momma, over breakfast

10/3/09 03:11 am

Today was long.
Had breakfast, went to set up for fright night with brian & greg & craig, then went to happy hour with brian and craig.
THEY HAD TACOS THEY HAD TACOS.
Then, to fright night-I have a new little named Gianna! She's adorable!
Then-to the after-party for fright night-which was kinda lame. Drank only a little bit and watched people play beer-pong and listened to really awful music. Then I decided to drive home.
Came to the apt, took a shower, cleaned the rat cage, and drove home.
And here I am.
On the way home, on the turnpike, I saw the saddest most beautiful spectacle. An entire building up in flames, emitting a huge cloud of smoke that lasted between exits 11 & 13. So sad, so beautiful.

10/2/09 01:32 pm



"You Are Being Shagged by a Rare Parrot"

10/1/09 03:38 pm

I got an A on my Intro to Animal Behavior first exam that I took yesterday
That should make up for the terrible normal Animal Behavior class exam that I had today
Bollocks.

9/25/09 01:39 pm



This is one of the most "Aww" ones I've seen in a while.
Aw.
In other news,
Haircutttttt.

9/24/09 04:04 pm

If I were to be one person in the world, any person, I'd want to be David Attenborough.
This shit is mind-blowingly...hilarious.
It's just great when the wasp seems to be saying "What the..? What the fuck? What happened?"
Apparently, they learn to avoid this area, with all the flowers in it, entirely.



9/23/09 07:49 pm

"I'm going to make my bed if I'm going to lie in it with you
because a disaster is a disaster
despite what christian language you drag it through"

These have been awful days, awkward days. Ridiculous days, painful days.
Days of waking up, forgetting who I am, and having a ridiculous amount of disappointment under my belt after I remembered.
Having very heavy boots.
All of this going on, and it's really not even that much stuff going on. I feel like everything is driving me crazy.
I feel like everyone is driving me crazy. I feel like I'm driving everyone crazy.

Want to cuddle up into a ball
in the space between my bed and wall
Sleep for days and dream of giants and castles and unicorns and fully-functioning societies
Pretend that I am a viable member of this community
Instead of the wreck, failure, and mess that I constantly feel like.

I want to be smart, talented, witty, interesting, pretty, fun, exciting, friendly, spontaneous.
Not-controlling, abusive, angry, insufficient, unable, distorted, confused, condescending, STUPID.

9/15/09 05:58 pm




This shit is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S
The really awesome imitations start at 2 min (approx) but you should really watch the whole video.

9/15/09 12:42 am

Haven't really been up this late in a while. Have been going to bed around 10 or 10:30 ish, even at Mike's, early to bed early to rise. It's a different kind of sleep schedule than what I had been on for most of my life, which was mostly go to bed between 3-5 AM and then get up whenever I had to go to class/work.

In either case, I definitely feel that going to bed early & waking up early has done me a good amount of...well...good. I'm actually falling asleep in one go now, almost always right away, whereas it used to take me up to 2 hours from the time I actually got into bed to fall asleep. After having gained some weight between the beginning of last year and this summer, with taking up jogging [when my knees don't hurt, which they have been since the beginning of Sept again, which is why I had to stop again] and biking [awesome exercise, doesn't hurt my knees AS much as jogging, but still a decent amount], I actually lost about 4-5 lbs since the beginning of Sept alone.
If I know anything, I know that having had mono over the summer did not help much with anything. A note on that: since I got mono, I feel like I get tired much, much quicker now. I feel like I need more and more sleep to get myself to be able to function, which is good, because for the first time in my life I am actually getting sleep. 
I don't want to jinx it, but I'm also almost positive that my weird leg convulsions have almost entirely ceased which makes sleeping a GREAT deal easier.

There's nothing really wrong at all anymore with me, not that  I can see.
[Except maybe green envy of the terminally ill]

For shame.

9/14/09 05:50 pm

I just watched a sea cucumber poop on tv and it made me sick to my stomach.
Gross, gross, gross.

On a brighter note, Pokemon Blue Version is AWESOME but I got lost after I rubbed the captains back.

9/3/09 11:29 am

My classes so far have met and/or exceeded expectations for the level of awesome I had previously set for them. Only class left to experience is Animal Behavior, which I has today at 12:35. In other words, soon.

( Classes )

I have tracked down, located, and removed Reuben's bike from its summer hibernation and I ride it every day and it's SO much fun although it is TERRIBLY squeaky. Things are back in full swing here, pretty much, just waiting for actual lectures to start next week so I can learn about some awesome shit and kill the hours before the weekends come and I get to see the lovely boys.

( Dreams )


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